she was so not down for the gang bang
this beer tastes like vomit already
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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