Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
