I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize