How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
