as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
