Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
