Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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