he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
