Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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