don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
