Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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