maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize