remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
