Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize