You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
