i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
