at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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