You really coming over, don't trick.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
