vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
