when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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