I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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