Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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