I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
