Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize