What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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