I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
