can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
