i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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