Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
