i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
