found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
