I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
my shit smells like andre
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
