therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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