you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Randomize
