Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
