A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
