Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
