its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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