im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
