I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
