New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
