There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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