READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
