well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
