but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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