I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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