Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just had sex on a roof
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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