So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
