my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
