My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
