Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
