Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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