Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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