you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
