I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
