I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
