I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It's just like the Real World with babies
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
