people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
