why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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