Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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