Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize