it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
