Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
