atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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