im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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