Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize