I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
