I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
