dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize